Oh evr'st tis a finer day ne'er shall be,
when the sun doth shine with liberty;
from thine own heart with certainty
thou shall know'st to be tru'er than a time
spent wast'ed in thy chambers
but rather allowing one's face delight:
to see a blue'st sky with clouds so white,
and to driveth forth from thy eighth of irons,
a ball of golf'est most
to the farthest reaches of the horizon.
Yes my friends, I bid you well,
for it is on this most sacred of days
that I shall muster from the depths of my sinews,
a most resounding yell, for I sall cry "FOUR!"
as I site'th the most driv'n of balls
on a most truer path of destruction;
one so callous in it's intents,
that by stroke of genius or by stroke of fate,
it should falleth upon thy head
and giveth thee a wound of most serious contempt.
Oh, fear not my friends,
for if this so of unfortunate events should befall thee,
on my word I swear to thee that I shall make haste
with most expediancy, and recompense my offense with charity.
Though you may be sixpence and none the richer, or no more wiser,
I know in thy heart of hearts thou will forgive me.
Yes. For it is better to clash hands than swords,
lest ye be wounded even further
and truely I say, we shall be friends indeed I think,
for I shall say: "let me buy you a drink".
