We need to talk about the (no longer) new Star Wars

[SWSF Hoppus]

I FINALLY SAW IT

FINALLY

And we need to talk about a few things.


SPOILERS ALERT


1. Kylo Ren is a fucking pussy and not at all like Darth Vader. I like that they were trying to give him a human dimension, but he's way too much of a pussy.

2. Rey is a sexy jedi but wtf not a second of training and she knows how to dual with lightsabres?

3. Finn is a sexy guy too but a) he acts way too goofy and silly and again, liek a pussy, for someone trained since birth in the stormtrooper corps to kick ass and b) how the fuck can he dual with a fucking lightsabre against Kylo Ren?!

4. They just copied A New Hope. Like literally copied it. I like that it felt similar to the originals, but it was TOO similar, I hope that the next one will be a bit more original, not just robbing every detail and changing it just a little.

5. WTF is golum doing running the empire?



Positives? X-Wings look fucking bad ass as should be. The effects of the ships/combat are awesome and so much better than episodes 1-3. I am happy that they didnt have a fucking jar jar binks, etc.

I thoguht it was too fast moving too. Constant action. Star Wars had lulls - jedi training, etc... and it was better for it. Slow the fuck down.

Mixed feelings. Fun movie but great star wars flick? Not so much.

[gallpizi]

I haven't even finished reading your post.... You FINALLY saw this!?!

[SWSF Hoppus]

Have an almost two year old and a 1 month old atm.. life has been hard! it was on HBO here finally and I was able to see it.

[gallpizi]

-shakes head-

[SWSF Hale]

Wow, you're triggering my original trauma from watching the film! I saw it twice, and so my opinion has "evolved" but I will say this:

1. The running joke with Kylo Ren is that he is too emotional. In fact, check out: Emo Kylo Ren on Twitter.

2. Han Solo's death broke the 4th wall for me. The scene was overly contrived simply because Harrison Ford wanted out of the franchise since Day 1, so Episode VII finally gave it to him. I would've preferred a Lord of the Rings rip-off, with Han Solo stepping in to block Kylo Ren from killing Chewie, Rey, and Finn a la Gandalf did when the Balrog came. In this regard Episode VII stuck to the formula a little too much, that is "we need to kill off a major character in the first film of a trilogy" just to simply put a check in the box.

3. Totally agree that it was one big nostalgic fan fiction film on steroids that completely robbed Tatooine, Hoth, and Yavin IV of any and all unique scenic value. I swear if in Episode VIII has some kind of Imperial Walker scene and there is some kind of "evacuation" in the plot and Rey has some kind of Jedi training montage with Luke.... I'm done. I will be done with the Disney Trilogy. It will be a confirmation that they just want to push out new films just because the Star Wars cow has lots of milk. So my expectations for VIII is that it needs to be REALLY GOOD. --- That being said, I am totally stoked about Rogue One. It looks like it's actually going to be an original Star Wars story with an original plot that re-immerses us in the Universe.

4. Just YouTube search "Episode VII sucks" and you will be greeted with a handful of well thought-out videos, some of which do not hold back. This one in particular was spot on: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FNAy7yCMyBw

5. The reality is that I only really began to appreciate the Prequel Trilogy because I watched the films over and over and began picking up on the nuances of the story and the character development. Once you get past Jar Jar Binks and Hayden Christensen's acting... everything else is solid gold. The problem for me is that I don't think I will be able to do that with Episode VII. While a second viewing did improve my initial reaction of "wow this movie sucked hard" to "disappointing," I don't think I'm going to get past the fact that every scene and every plot device could be threaded back to the Original Trilogy.

6. Bottom line: I'm cautiously excited for the future of the franchise.